a victoria p

birdiebirdbird@gmail.com
brooklyn

26 September 2007

AMY WHOREHOUSE.

I would like you to know how I feel about Amy Winehouse (as if, it were not apparent by the title of this entry).


Amy Winehouse is a hussy with an apparent drug addiction. Which, is fine. This is all good and fine for Amy fucking Winehouse. Whatever works for you, lady. Yes, bitch can carry a tune, I will not deny that.

However, I believe that Amy Winehouse was much more efficient in her industry before I knew what she looked like and when I just heard her voice.


The topic of Amy Winehouse angers me so god damn much because men, strange men, have struck up conversation with me by saying, "You look like Amy Winehouse, has anyone ever told you that?" or, "You have this Amy Winehouse thing going on. You know, minus the heroin addiction." The man will then sometimes point frantically at the veins in the bend of his arm and sort of shiver and cackle, all at the same time. Often, the conversation will continue on like this, "Can I bum a cigarette? I see you have a lighter there...". I promise you this has happened more than twice.

It's not only men looking for a cigarette that tell me I resemble this Amy Whorehouse character, but my former manager, as well. She told me on my first, second, third, and forth day of work, as if I had forgotten. She also added that I am not nearly as skinny as her. And, not in "so many words" either! She actually said, "But you're not nearly as skinny as her." I think it must have slipped, because she followed it up quickly and all chummy-chummy with, (giggle, giggle) "But that's from her drug problem."

OKAY PEOPLE. I GET IT. WE BOTH WEAR BLACK EYELINER AS SEEN BELOW:

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You know, before Amy Slutbag came around, and I wore black eyeliner like I sometimes do, I used to get comments like, "are you Egyptian?" or, "you look like Cleopatra".

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I am neither Egyptian nor a fan of Cleopatra, but those comparisons were not nearly as detrimental to my ongoing self-image problem as these Amy Winehouse ones are.


So, for the love of god, I get it. We have SOMEWHAT similar eye makeup, SOMETIMES. I'd like to think that Amy (first name bases, at this point) is getting a lot of, "You have an Amanda Pumarejo thing going on," back on her end.

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I think you're pissing us both off.

3 comments:

Joseph said...

true story: sitting on a greenpoint stoop a few weeks back with hj (who gets the winohussey thing a lot herself) and this girl walks by with actual beehive hair! we couldnt stop laughing for 5 minutes

chris said...

this is funny. really funny.

Anonymous said...

are you ready weaver?

 
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