a victoria p


10 September 2007


I’m going to take my beer, my notebook and my boyfriend in the shower with me.

And last night, that’s just what I did.

i don't write in here anymore because i am so critical of my writing that i try to avoid it all together. Hopefully this is just a phase. I mean, I still write-- just not in here.

Tonight, is another night of my eyes hurting. My eyes have been hurting for about a month now. I blame it on my shitty New York City lifestyle. smoking a pack of cigarettes a day and drinking most every night is not quite healthy, and I know that. I don’t need your help.

anyway, my eyes. sometimes they hurt so badly that the only way I can continue living is to pull my eyelids up and just sit. sit holding my lids with my hand, pulling them away from the suction of my eyeballs. the only way I can describe it is that it feels like there are knots behind my eyes that i need to massage out. i think that's impossible. these symptoms sound terribly like my mother's symptoms of multiple sclerosis, so when I went to the doctor i was accused of having that syndrome that children get where they mock their parent's disease-- as if that syndrome even has a name.

i've been hanging out with norman all day. granted, i see him every day, but today is our day off. we went to bed last night at 6am, sober, with our stomachs filled with snacks, after watching two terrific films and one okay movie. You see, norman tries to explain to me how he finds a difference between a movie and a film. for instance, the films we watched last night were 'happy ending' and 'dirty filthy love'. the movie we watched last night was 'the dukes of hazzard'. i agreed with him, as i find myself doing mostly these days, except i didn't really enjoy 'the dukes of hazzard,'

norman has this best friend, zach. zach is a genius, who comes from a family of geniuses. he writes this blog on his cousin's website, every now and then, and tonight i found some nice things he wrote about me. after reading what he wrote about me, I remembered that my birthday is in two days, because that is the kind of happy I felt; happy birthday, happy.

“Amanda, Normans's girlfriend, is the most attentive listener I know. When she is in a conversation, she makes so many subtle expressions, wild and nuanced and changing, that I often just watch her listen and lose track of the conversation. I love it. You should see her when she talks to Norman. She makes the best faces. She'll hear a word and snarl, then scrunch up her face in thoughtful confusion, and then smile in a dubious way, all within the range of a sentence. It's the most exciting thing in the world. She also gives the cutest accusatory glance I've seen, which Norman manages to be the recipient of all the time.”

No comments:

Get free html for hit counter .